Time On My Hands (This has been sitting in Drafts since July 2011....oooops!)

Thanks to J being a very happy, cooperative baby yesterday, I did every single thing on my to do list which means that I am currently lounging in bed in my PJs, catching up on my online reading material, and listening to J giggle and laugh at something in his crib.



I have the entire day to do whatever sounds like fun. Since free days so rarely happen, I'm trying to compile a mental list of what J and I could do today. So far, it's looking pretty good. My only disappointment is that P had to work today. If all three of us were home, the day would be perfect because J loves having his dadddy home during the day...and I like it pretty well myself.



I had a really good conversation with an old friend yesterday. The kind of conversation that brings about clarity and revelation and resolution to some things that have been following me around for years. I know that getting older is a struggle for many people, but I am thankful for the aging / maturing process because it has made it easier to communicate and it has made it easier to wade through emotions that cloud issues and distort memories. Being older also has curbed a lot of my impulses. The ability to make myself stop and wait and really consider my actions PRIOR to taking them is also something I'm thankful for everyday. When I was younger, I would react in a split second to any kind of conflict or struggle and usually end up swinging to the opposite of what I thought I should do. It caused so many problems, strained so many relationships, and burned so many unnecessary bridges. It also allowed too many negative things to have acccess to my life. I wish I had taken the time to stop, detatch from my feelings (which can be quite deceptive), and truly evaluate what was going on, both within myself and around me. I can promise you that my life would look completely different.



And, that's not me detracting from the life that I have now. I love my son, my husband, my parents, my siblings, and my life in Oklahoma. I just wish I didn't have so many things that need to be addressed and dealt with in my heart and mind because of decisions I chose to make along the way. I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but, it's what weighs most heavily for whatever reason. I'm just thankful for the opportunity to work through it and hopefully, lay it to rest once and for all.

Almost time

We are two weeks away from sweet baby E's due date, but he's already the same size as J was when J was born. In light of all the contractions I have been having at random intervals, I am thinking E might be here ahead of schedule which is okay by me!

I finally got the hospital bag packed and my focal point finished. I decided to do something similiar to last time. A few scriptures, two pics of J, and an ultrasound pic of E in a frame. It's nice to have something to focus on when things start getting intense and between E's sweet face and J running around in some striped pjs and piggy ears, I will have all the incentive I need to push through. No pun intended.

E's baby shower is this Sunday. Between my sister's wedding, wedding showers, and this baby shower, I think my family has the streamlined approach down to perfection. We're having the shower immediately following the church service, we're serving grab and go refreshments, and we're just having the gifts displayed instead of opening everything. The only sit down and stop activity is the ABC book. We made one at J's shower and it's still my most favorite gift. Each shower guest selects a letter of the alphabet and then colors a page that represents the letter. J's book is adorable because it's a great mix of adults and kids' artwork. I can't wait to see E's when it's finished.

I have a few more household things that I need to finish up and P needs to finish remodeling the guest bath so we can prepare for the British invasions that will occur over the next couple of months, but other than that...I think we're good. :)

Home Work

After a lot of waiting and praying and waiting...MaddieLuke, LTD is officially open for business! It's been a project that has been rolling around in my brain for several years, but after "retiring" from the work world, I finally seem to have the time needed to focus on launching my own business. It's a consulting firm of which I am the sole consulter so probably just a fancy way of saying I'm self-employed, but I like it. A lot.

Since it's early days, I'm doing some pro bono projects to get some customer testimonials and work out any kinks in my standard operating procedures. One project is with a non-profit in town, one project is with a homeschooled freshman, and the last project is being a campaign advisor for a local resident planning to run for state senate. I think I'm the most excited about the last project because I love politics. It's fast paced, involved, requires a lot of research and memorization, and there is a plethora of problem solving which I enjoy doing the most.

But, the main purpose of the consulting firm is two-fold. First, act as an educational consultant for homeschooling families in the state by checking over their records and body of work to ensure they are meeting Oklahoma PASS objectives. If not, making suggestions and recommendations on how to bring their work into compliance while helping them build a transcript / portfolio / record of work. Second, act as an organizational consultant for projects and non-profits including suggesting ways to more efficiently conduct business, update policies and procedures, and brainstorming / problem solving through issues that are currently challenging the organization.

I am excited to see what comes of these things and I'm enjoying the way my day is running. I have the daytime with J, early evening with P, and then I spend the last two hours of the day working on one/all of the projects I currently have ongoing.

But, I'm being mindful that if I get overly involved (like I tend to do), I will have to be willing and able to lay it all aside considering how much the Lord has been helping me focus on my priorities over the past few months. I certainly don't want to do anything detrimental!

Patiently waiting...

I have about 2.5 more weeks before the end of the 1st trimester with Baby #2 who we are lovingly referring to as "Lentil" until we learn the sex of the baby.

Being pregnant with J was a piece of cake. I was a little tired, but I still worked 50 - 60 hours per week, kept my house in order, got all my laundry done each weekend, and had time for family and friends. Lentil is a whole other story. I have had morning sickness from the time I wake up until I finally fall asleep. 2am is my new bedtime and 9am is the latest I can sleep without J protesting through the baby monitor. I lost 6lbs since I found out I was pregnant, but I'm already showing. And, as of 3 days ago, round ligament pains are my newest companion on this journey. I had NONE of these troubles with J, so I'm making it through each day with extra prayer, 6 small meals (heavy on the protein), lots of water, and as little sun as possible.

In spite of the difficulties, I'm encouraged and I'm looking forward to our next doctor's appt. We should be able to hear the heartbeat and see the baby more clearly because our doctor has new ultrasound equipment. And, I'm really hopeful that 13 weeks will bring some relief from the nausea. I can handle the other thing, but feeling sick all day and all night really saps my energy.

P has been amazing during the process. He's been putting in 12 hour days at the office and then coming home in time to help get J ready for bed. He also makes dinner, cleans the kitchen, and helps me run errands so I don't have to worry about getting J out in this crazy Oklahoma heat.

Stay cool, friends!

It's raining

Sweet baby J is asleep.
Iced tea is almost finished brewing.
 My kitchen is sparkling. John Mayer playlist on in the background.
All the lights are off.
And, it's raining.
Today is an almost perfect day.

Scheduling

I have had a job since I was 16...which means that I have been working over half of my life at this point. Prior to working outside of my home, I helped my parents wrangle children, clean house, do laundry, cook (disasterous on many occasions), run errands, etc...

Combining my life up to 16 with all of the things I've learned from working, I have a need for schedules. A need for to do lists. A need for a project list. A need to manage things on Excel spreadsheets. A need to take inventory of things. A need to issue progress reports. And, much to P's chagrin, I have found a way to do all of these things in my new role. He refers to me being in work mode as me being in "doing mode" and there is an entire song that he's made up about it to the tune of "Hey There, Lonely Girl" by Eddie Holman. It's pretty amusing, I must say, even though it's completely at my expense. And he's going to have to stop singing it in front of J before too long unless P wants to take up explaining Freud and a few other things to his 2 year old.

I always have a little giggle on the inside whenever my career minded friends make comments about how nice it must be to stay in bed all day, wander around in my pjs, watch tv all day, or go shopping whenever I feel like it. I'm not sure where they are getting their information on what a housewife's life looks like, but I must have missed out on that "how-to" training session. I feel just as busy as I did when I was working 55-60 hours a week at my last "real job"...the difference being that I'm on call 24/7 and I don't have any sick days or vacation days.

(Yes, I have made myself a schedule. And it is posted on the bulletin board in my kitchen)

But, I wouldn't trade this life for ANYTHING. Aside from the obvious enjoyment of being home with J, I have actually really enjoyed working on house related projects that have been on hold since we moved here in '06. I've learned a lot about our spending patterns, buying habits, and tendencies from taking inventory of what is occupying our house at the moment. I was finally able to get all of my fabric out of storage and start mapping out what sewing projects I want to work on in a few weeks. I have had the time to sort through and scan most of the film negatives from my parents house and get them safely tucked away on my hard drive. I'm learning how to COOK. And it's actually tasting pretty good!

And, I am realizing that while I enjoyed those 15 years of pushing myself and challenging myself and going to bed exhausted because of the long days and multiple problem solving opportunities everyday...I'm finding the same in what I'm doing now and the benefits are so much greater.