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Friday, October 21, 2011


It is finally Fall in Oklahoma! It rained a few weeks ago for a couple of days and now everything is lush and green in our backyard. Mostly weeds at this point, but it looks pretty. The weather has cooled down to a lovely 70 degrees F during the day and almost down to freezing at night. I'm sure it will heat up again before fall officially settles in, but we are grateful for the reprieve.

Baby G #2 is a boy! We had our 5 month scan about two weeks ago and everything is where it is supposed to be and functioning as it should and we're very grateful for that news as well. We decided to name him Elliott Frederick. The cutest thing in my little home right now is sweet baby J trying to say "Elliott." It comes out "Ell-eee?"

I am finding myself much more settled /comfortable with the title of stay at home mom. I am no longer struggling with trying to figure out what my role is going to be. When I first realized that I was going to have to give up all of the board/charity work that I had been doing since J's arrival, it was a struggle. I felt lost for several weeks. But, it's because my perspective was so limited. I was only seeing what I was losing and I wasn't open to what could be gained by freeing up that time and energy. I have found my focus restored and the biggest conviction that I have pressing on me at the moment is to make good use of the time that J and I have left together before we add in Baby E's presence. There is so much for both of us to learn between now and then.

There are always new lessons to learn, old lessons to revisit, and the opportunity to improve things that haven't been quite rounded and softened out of us yet. I am finding this to be true in all areas of life and I'm having to reconsider my stance on certain situations and people especially. I'm such a black and white thinker about things. I like evaluating and making decisions and seeing the decisions through. But, in that process, I think I have given up on people or distanced myself from people who are being knit into my larger family and at the end of the day, it was never my place to say who was worth walking away from because that's not the purpose to which I have been called. I'm learning that patience, hope, love, and endurance are what is required to see things through to completion - in myself and in others. We can't do this kind of work or experience this kind of growth alone if we have set our eyes on the prize and are determined to see it through.

Repetition is my biggest lesson with J in this season. Constant review and interaction and encouragement and reminders which pay off in a big way because at some point in the repetition, something clicks and HE GETS IT. Repetition is something good for my life as well because it's exactly the same. When good things are being put in steadily, constantly, and consistently and my heart dwells on them, at some point in the repetition, something clicks and I GET IT. So, I am reminding myself for myself and reminding myself for J, continue in the good way. Don't grow weary in well doing. Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together. Walk in love. As HE is in this world, so are we.