Running on fumes

I am pretty sure I have had a grand total of 5.5 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours.

Elliott started sleeping through the night two nights ago which is awesome. I have not yet enjoyed the benefits, however, because Jackson is not feeling well. Last night was the worst so far. I went to bed just before midnight and woke up to him crying at 1:30am. He fell asleep in my lap around 2:15am, snuck him back into his crib, fell back to sleep, and woke up to him crying at 3:15am. Got back up with him but he was already wise to me trying to get him to sleep so he would jerk himself awake every ten minutes or so. I lasted until 5am at which point I took him upstairs and put him in bed with Pete. Crashed out again and woke up to Elliott needing a bottle at 6:15am. Jack was back up by 7:30am so we all went ahead and got up to start the day.

I was supposed to go to a sales meeting with Pete at 10am, but given the previous night's circumstances and the fact that Jack is simply not himself due to being sick, I opted to stay home instead. My mom came over and offered to listen for the babies so I could take a nap. I managed to get about 45 minutes in before Elliott and Jack needed me. I really appreciate her coming over and helping out. It helped me get through the rest of my day.

I am hoping and praying that Jackson feels better tomorrow. He needs a good night's rest (and so do we!)

Heartbreaker

Jack woke up around 5:30am, screaming and holding the back of his neck. We gave him some ibuprofen, changed him into looser PJs, and tucked him up in bed with Momma. As long as I had my arm around him where some heat was applied to the spot that was hurting, he was able to doze off and rest for a bit. But, the slightest change in position would wake him up screaming.

Needless to say, we called our Dr / Grandpa this morning and Daddy took him in about 30 min ago to see what is going on. I am patiently waiting for a phone call. I hate it when my babies don't feel well.

UPDATE: Looks like an ear infection, swollen lymph nodes, and a crick in his neck. Poor baby. He is trying so hard to be cheerful, but it takes almost nothing to cause the tear gates to open. He just went down for a nap. Hopefully, the antibiotics will kick in and he can get some rest.

A Deeper Understanding

Very thankful to report that Hivesgate 2012 is officially OVER! Booyah! I went to bed Wednesday night red, itchy, and miserable. Slept through the entire night and woke up 95% restored. It is amazing what the power of prayer can do. Many thanks to those in the body who were praying for my recovery. I appreciate your love and intercession on my behalf. These two little people are also thankful to have Mom back to normal.

This month, we have been making a conscious effort to have our friends and family over for lunches and dinners. It's been a lot of fun and also very encouraging. Last night was no exception. Shay and Linds have been married for a couple of years and we always enjoy spending time with them...however, we had never invited them over to eat dinner even though we have talked about how much fun it would be if they were to come over. Finally got it on the calendar and looked to Pinterest for dinner AND dessert suggestions. Pleased to report that BOTH choices went according to Pinterest promise. And, the conversation was funny at times, reflective at times, and uplifting all the time. Those are the best of evenings. Gave me a lot to think about today as I went about my chores and projects.

Then, at my parents house this evening, I ended up being able to share some of what we talked about byway of encouraging one of my siblings who is dealing with some things at the moment. And, in the process, my sister Megan shared some things with us that have left me very humbled because seeing how deeply affected she is about realizing how much we need the Lord in our lives strengthens my resolve and challenges me to go deeper into my pursuit of Him. Not lazily loping along after it or fitting it in when it's convenient, but full out sprinting in pursuit of understanding Him and what He is wanting to accomplish in His people. She shared the story of the blind man calling out for Jesus and how nothing was going to dissuade him or shame him away from what he was doing because he realized Jesus was EVERYTHING he needed. And how Jesus had compassion on him and healed him. And how she is asking the Lord to fill her with that same compassion and ability to love His people. That is what I need in my walk as well. More compassion. Less judging and less impatience. More love. 

Hives Watch...Day 3

*sigh*

I think we have figured out what is causing the hives. You're going to love this....it's so ironic in a way. Apparently, it's the HEAT. If I lived someplace else, this would be easily remedied. But, no. I live in Oklahoma and we are riding a ten day heat wave projected to end on Friday, hopefully. At that point, we should drop from triple digits to around 90. Lucky for me! (I'm being a little sarcastic)

I am on a methylprednisolone pack (cortizone pack), but it doesn't seem to be doing much. I woke up this morning and it feels like my legs are on fire. I was using my laptop accordingly which caused my stomach and the tops of my legs to erupt in fresh patches of hives. And, today, I noticed that I have a patch spreading across my throat. Lovely. Just lovely.

So, needless to say, we are staying indoors for the time being. So much for my running. That has been tossed to the wayside until things calm down. And, so much for little things like sleeping under the covers or using my laptop for more than ten minutes at a time.

And before anyone asks, some cheese with this whine would be awesome. Thanks for asking. :)

It's A Man's World

This weekend was the World's Largest Garage Sale in my hometown. The boys came along on Friday and sat in the car with my youngest brother while I scoped things out. Found some great deals on little boys clothing, picture frames, and vintage Little Golden Books.

Went back on Saturday with my sister, Anna. We found a pile of red bricks for my walkway redo project for $4! I also found a Thomas the Train pop up tent which Jackson LOVES. I'm sure he will be asking to sleep in it before too much longer.

On the way home from my parents' house after our post garage sale brunch, my legs started itching. It reminded me of when I had PUPPS immediately following the birth of both boys. Woke up this morning and both legs from top of the foot to the tops of my thighs were covered in raised white welts and the skin itself was a flaming red rash. Turns out I have had an allergic reaction to something and my body is breaking out in hives. It's spreading pretty quickly, but I now have a cortisone pack to try to stop it and I'm on 100 mg of benadryl every four hours. Hoping this passes quickly.

So, why it's a man's world? Because women must keep on going about their daily lives regardless of what is ailing them, lol. That's WHY.

Make new friends, but keep the old...

Those are silver, these are gold.

I graduated from high school a long time ago and I had three girls in my class whom I was and am still very close to in terms of friendship. We haven't been able to do very much together or see each other as often as we like, but today, they came over to my house to eat lunch. And, before we knew it, it was after five and everyone had to leave to go home to tend to husbands and babies.

But, it was good to see that when you are truly friends, you can pick up right where you left off and still be as close as you once were. I'm thankful for the gold. Always open to the silver, but I will do anything and everything for you once you're golden in my book.

You Never Know What The Day Will Bring...

Today brought TWO teething, cranky babies. As in full blown crying meltdowns completely with runny noses, hiccups interspersed with sobbing, and requesting the impossible which led to more meltdowns. I just kept telling myself that this too shall pass. ANY DAY NOW that top tooth will break through for Elliott and Jack's two year molars will just appear. In the meantime, I am going to have to cast my coping / good idea nets a little further to come up with some new distractions and entertainments for Jack which should allow me to have more cuddle time with Elliott. I do love how affectionate they both are right now. It feels good to be needed.

Today also brought one of those "I have only ever seen this on COPS" moments. I noticed that Luke, the world's nosiest beagle, was standing at attention at the end of the backyard. Upon closer inspection through the kitchen french doors, I saw a man dressed in a pair of jeans, a blue t-shirt, and a navy blue vest. I watched him for a few minutes and couldn't place him as a neighbor and couldn't figure out why he would be standing at my fence. I grabbed my cell phone and opened the back door. He never noticed me, but I was able to get close enough to see the word, "POLICE," emblazoned on the back of the vest in huge yellow letters and then he turned away from me towards my neighbor's yard and I saw that he had a semi automatic rifle of some sort in his hands. The barrel was pointed at the ground, but his hand was in the trigger vicinity so needless to say, I hightailed it back inside and called the police dispatcher to make sure he was the real deal. Turns out, yes indeed he was AND they were raiding my neighbor's house. No shocker there. We live in a nice area for the most part, but like in most neighborhoods, there is always that ONE house that drags everyone else down in terms of its appearance and the activity that takes place around and within.

Today also brought some interesting news on the consulting front. About a year ago, I started my own consulting firm. Obviously, with two babies, it's been a very slow go on actually generating anything steady in terms of projects....but, hopefully all of that is going to change this fall. If everything goes to plan, I will be assisting in developing a new sales and marketing approach for a new business. I should be able to do everything from home and it will be nice to interact with others on a problem solving level. I DO like challenges.

Speaking of challenges, I am asking the Lord to help strengthen me to get through the rest of this teething situation! Off to bed now in the event that tomorrow is like today has been.

I am noticing...

I was either unaware or unwilling to admit how much of my life has been spent putting things off until tomorrow.

"Oh, I will start eating better....tomorrow. Or maybe Monday. It's always best to start something new on a Monday."
"I really should get to the gym. No point going today though. I need to work it into my schedule first."
"The backyard really needs some help. Of course, it would be silly to do anything about it right now because I don't have any extra funding to get it all done at one time."
"I need to get rid of my online profile. It's just a timewaster and a drama starter. As soon as I finish all of my Words with Friends games AND find someone to moderate my two communities, I'll delete it."

But, here is the truth, plain and simple...in the words of Prof. Harold Hill from the Music Man - "You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering.”

Yesterday, I deleted my Facebook account. I didn't spend any time dragging out my goodbyes. I didn't tell anyone I was going to do it. I briefly lamented how my Duncan, OK group is going to go downhill fast because no one else will be as OCD as I am about spam ads before realizing that the worst thing that could happen is people quit supporting the group. I swallowed my pride relating to defending my honor on Words With Friends. And, then. I pulled the plug.

It felt so good. Freeing - just like when I deleted my LiveJournal a few years ago.

I started running last week. I can't run very far or very long and by the time I round the last corner of my city block, I'm puffing away like a steam engine. But, it feels so good. And it gets the day started in a good place. I have time to get myself in order. To put my day in order. To pray about the things weighing on my mind. And it's just me. I'm not distracted by anyone else doing anything else. I'm just moving.

Today, I held my cranky, teething baby for most of the day. He needed me. I visited with my 22 month old about his toys and books and his little brother and how much I love him. And when Pete got home from work and from the grocery store, Jack and I went outside and power washed the jogging stroller so he can come with me sometimes. And, I started digging up the 16" red brick pavers to move around to the front of the house so I can get rid of the hideous white rock walkway that has been there since before we moved in. Nothing earth shattering.

But, it feels really, really good.

DONE!

Officially off the FB grid.

On to bigger and better things.

su·per·fi·cial

[soo-per-fish-uhl]

adjective

1. being at, on, or near the surface: a superficial wound.

2. of or pertaining to the surface: superficial measurement.

3. external or outward: a superficial resemblance.

4. concerned with or comprehending only what is on the surface or obvious: a superficial observer.

5. shallow; not profound or thorough: a superficial writer.

I am sick of it. Offically over it. This phony level of "knowing" someone or having them believe that they "know" me because we happen to be acquaintances through a social media platform. Having the stress of "Do I friend, do I unfriend, if I unfriend what social problems will I cause, would I have dinner with this person in real life, why do I care so much about the feelings of someone who has no idea who I really am?" coupled with the awkward in person exchanges that stem from someone knowing what is going on in your life without you having ever spoken to them in person is leading me down a path of wanting some downtime.

The problem is this....I am not willing or ready to completely cut myself off from said platforms. They do serve a very useful purpose for some specific needs that my family has at this time. However, there is no way to go halfway in these situations. You either have to remain open or you have to completely stop because parking it in the middle (even if for a short time) results in your inbox flooding with concerned inquiries or phone calls from people you barely speak to asking in that nosy way "Is everything okay?"

So, here I sit...fully acknowledging the superficiality of the entire thing....and still unable to cut the cord.

21 Days To Make A Habit

And, I'm 3 days in.

I realized over the last several months that I am the worst procrastinator when it comes to making myself do things that I am a) not good at or b) that require long term commitment. Unfortunately for me, losing the 60+ pounds I have packed on since hitting puberty (yes, it really has been that long) requires me coming to terms with BOTH of these issues.

I saw this picture on Pinterest and it made me laugh but smacked me in the face at the same time because I realized that I have exactly the same mentality.  Gym Avoidance

So, rather than plan out a perfect week with allotted times to do certain things, I realized that the only way I can change is one day at a time. It involves getting out of bed early and doing as much as I can before the babies are awake because it's the only time of day that Pete and I are both home at the moment. It means walking / jogging / running even though I can feel my butt cheeks jiggling around like a plate full of Jello and be painfully aware how out of shape I really am at this point. It means holding myself accountable for what I am eating. It means accepting the fact that my body requires different food at this stage in life. It means going to be earlier than usual. And, it means doing that every single day from this point forward. Otherwise, the change is never going to occur.

So, 3 days in is huge for me because it means for the past three days, I have rolled out of bed before 7am. I have jogged around my huge city block 3 days in a row. I have eaten better. I have had more water to drink. I have remembered to take my thyroid medication. I have gone to bed before 11pm.

It feels good.

Projects and Cranky Babies

What a week! And we're only halfway through!

My sweet, sweet husband volunteered himself to tear down and reconstruct a fence at my aunt's house along with patching some sheetrock, fixing a leak in the roof, patching the ceiling, and finding out what is causing the wall behind her washer to mold. She lives about 1.5 hours north of us so needless to say, he has been VERY busy and gone quite a bit this week.

In the meantime, Elliott has decided that 4 months is the perfect age to start the teething process. Poor baby. It is taking SO much longer for the first tooth to break through that it did for Jackson. Elliott is such a happy baby in most circumstances, but he just looks miserable at the moment. He has zero interest in chewing on anything cold and the baby Orajel does not seem to help at all either. He prefers his chubby little fingers and sitting in my lap over anything else. The only silver lining for him is that he's so tired from lack of napping during the day that he is sleeping REALLY well at night.

Jackson has been a trooper. He is used to me being able to read "The Very Cranky Bear" (or Kinky Bear, as he likes to call him) whenever the mood strikes him, but Elliott has had other plans. Jack just takes it in stride and finds something to entertain himself until Elliott nods off for a 10 min power nap. Then, he runs over with as many books as he can carry and we read them on rotation until Elliott needs me again. Other favorites at the moment include "Corduroy Goes To The Doctor," "Corduroy's Day," "Ten Little Puppies," and "How Do Dinosaurs Clean Their Room?" I have all of those memorized, but he's not fooled at all. Even if he is holding the book and I'm saying the words, it's not going to work. He MUST be seated in my lap and able to turn the pages at the appropriate time. I am thinking / hoping we have about worn "Ten Little Puppies" out at this point. We get to "7 little puppies skiing in the snow..." and he will close the book and say, "THE END! NIGHT PUPPIES, NIGHT NIGHT!" which works for me! It has to be his idea, however. I tried skipping from 8 to 3 and he totally caught on to what I was doing.

I have concluded that the only way I can keep my energy going is to stay as active as possible from the time I wake up until it's time for bed. Today this consisted of making breakfast, cleaning the kitchen, reorganizing the pantry, doing 3 loads of laundry, cleaning the living room, cleaning Jackson's room, cleaning our bedroom, sprucing up the guest bathroom, sewing 3 throw pillows for Jackson's room, attaching the ribbons to 10 panels of fabric, attaching ribbons to a scarf, sewing 16 triangles for a pinterest project, making a meatloaf for dinner, and cutting up 4 pairs of Pete's jeans into 6x6 squares for my next project. Oh, and taking care of the boys, OF COURSE. I also tried something I had saved to one of my pinterest boards which was cleaning all of the fruit in my fridge with a vinager and water soak. The berries did great, but the apples were left with this powdery looking white substance that WILL NOT come off. I must have missed a step somewhere.

I have no idea what we're doing tomorrow. I think I feel like taking a nap at some point.