Life has been crazy over the past month. P's work, my projects, family life, activities with friends...it's honestly been one thing after another. And while I have enjoyed so much of this over the past month, I realized today as I was listening to words of the sermon, I have inadvertently allowed my old nemesis, Distraction, to sneak back in and steal my peace in so many situations.
Reflecting on the past month, I had not realized how many nights I was laying in bed, unable to sleep because I had so many things running through my brain. I LOVE problem solving and processing through things and while this can be a really good quality, I can see where I wasn't closely monitoring some situations that I've encountered and as a result, this good quality turned into a processing overdrive that consumed a lot of time and lot of brain space.
J has spent more time with my family in the past month than he has in several months. This is a really good thing because they love him and he loves them...but what prompted him spending so much time with them is me stacking my day to day schedule with SO many activities and meetings and appointments that he couldn't attend. Is this bad? I'm not sure if it qualifies as bad...but it certainly defeated the purpose of me resigning from a job I loved to stay home with my beautiful boy.
I have also involved myself in things that are truly beyond the scope of what I can do to fix it. And, I'm almost ashamed to admit that in my zeal for fixing things, I've said things to several people in the process that have caused hurt feelings and friction. I realized that I STILL haven't learned that telling the truth doesn't mean telling everything you know.
I was convicted this morning of not investing enough time in people and in things that matter in the long run. I have been too focused on the details and I've been missing the big picture. I'm not abandoning anything by any means. I'm seeing my projects through to finish and I'm going to continue seeing family and friends. But, I'm resolving to be much more discerning in situations and to practice being reserved in what I say about situations. And once this round of projects is completed, I need to take a HUGE step back and regroup before I say "yes" to anything new.