Monday, February 20, 2012
If I were a psychologist...
Oklahoma weather would definitely be diagnosed as schizophrenic with bipolar tendencies today. Cold enough for a jacket to too warm for a jacket in the space of an hour. Sunny when I left the house followed by a smattering of rain to a quick downpour almost immediately back to sunny. And now, the sky surrounding my house is a lovely red dirt haze. Hang on tornado season, here we come!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Almost time
We are two weeks away from sweet baby E's due date, but he's already the same size as J was when J was born. In light of all the contractions I have been having at random intervals, I am thinking E might be here ahead of schedule which is okay by me!
I finally got the hospital bag packed and my focal point finished. I decided to do something similiar to last time. A few scriptures, two pics of J, and an ultrasound pic of E in a frame. It's nice to have something to focus on when things start getting intense and between E's sweet face and J running around in some striped pjs and piggy ears, I will have all the incentive I need to push through. No pun intended.
E's baby shower is this Sunday. Between my sister's wedding, wedding showers, and this baby shower, I think my family has the streamlined approach down to perfection. We're having the shower immediately following the church service, we're serving grab and go refreshments, and we're just having the gifts displayed instead of opening everything. The only sit down and stop activity is the ABC book. We made one at J's shower and it's still my most favorite gift. Each shower guest selects a letter of the alphabet and then colors a page that represents the letter. J's book is adorable because it's a great mix of adults and kids' artwork. I can't wait to see E's when it's finished.
I have a few more household things that I need to finish up and P needs to finish remodeling the guest bath so we can prepare for the British invasions that will occur over the next couple of months, but other than that...I think we're good. :)
I finally got the hospital bag packed and my focal point finished. I decided to do something similiar to last time. A few scriptures, two pics of J, and an ultrasound pic of E in a frame. It's nice to have something to focus on when things start getting intense and between E's sweet face and J running around in some striped pjs and piggy ears, I will have all the incentive I need to push through. No pun intended.
E's baby shower is this Sunday. Between my sister's wedding, wedding showers, and this baby shower, I think my family has the streamlined approach down to perfection. We're having the shower immediately following the church service, we're serving grab and go refreshments, and we're just having the gifts displayed instead of opening everything. The only sit down and stop activity is the ABC book. We made one at J's shower and it's still my most favorite gift. Each shower guest selects a letter of the alphabet and then colors a page that represents the letter. J's book is adorable because it's a great mix of adults and kids' artwork. I can't wait to see E's when it's finished.
I have a few more household things that I need to finish up and P needs to finish remodeling the guest bath so we can prepare for the British invasions that will occur over the next couple of months, but other than that...I think we're good. :)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Hand Over Mouth
It is always interesting to me how something can be said in a "generally speaking" way as not to point any individual out or point fingers in any direction and yet...it still manages to hurt someone's feelings.
It's even more interesting to me how someone with hurt feelings tries very hard to make it something that YOU shouldn't have done instead of addressing why it caused a reaction for THEM.
And, it's most interesting to me how someone can assert that it would be better to not say something "generally speaking" but to keep the topic between the parties concerned.
If you are not addressing a specific party, but you're generally speaking, how does one accomplish that exactly? Sometimes an individual does something that leads to a much needed "generally speaking" moment. It benefits the greater good to address it openly. And, as long as you are tactful and don't use names or specifics that could lead to such individual being identified, how rational/reasonable is it for anyone to be offended that it's been brought up for public consumption?
Oh, but offense isn't a reasonable/rational creature, is it?
Need.More.Patience.
It's even more interesting to me how someone with hurt feelings tries very hard to make it something that YOU shouldn't have done instead of addressing why it caused a reaction for THEM.
And, it's most interesting to me how someone can assert that it would be better to not say something "generally speaking" but to keep the topic between the parties concerned.
If you are not addressing a specific party, but you're generally speaking, how does one accomplish that exactly? Sometimes an individual does something that leads to a much needed "generally speaking" moment. It benefits the greater good to address it openly. And, as long as you are tactful and don't use names or specifics that could lead to such individual being identified, how rational/reasonable is it for anyone to be offended that it's been brought up for public consumption?
Oh, but offense isn't a reasonable/rational creature, is it?
Need.More.Patience.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I'm not one for devotionals....
But I have had a copy of Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost For His Highest" lying around for several years and decided to pull it off the bookshelf and place it by my bed for those nights when I just need something quick to read through before I fall asleep.
I don't read it everyday so my sequencing is a little off, but I found the Jan 4th entry very helpful because it's something I am struggling with at the moment - knowing when/how to end relationships that are not based on the right foundation.
I don't read it everyday so my sequencing is a little off, but I found the Jan 4th entry very helpful because it's something I am struggling with at the moment - knowing when/how to end relationships that are not based on the right foundation.
http://utmost.org/why-can-i-not-follow-you-now/
Why Can I Not Follow You Now?
Jan 04 2012
Peter said to Him, ’Lord, why can I not follow You now?’ —John 13:37
There are times when you can’t understand why you cannot do what you want to do. When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don’t fill it with busyness, just wait. The time of waiting may come to teach you the meaning of sanctification— to be set apart from sin and made holy— or it may come after the process of sanctification has begun to teach you what service means. Never run before God gives you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt— wait.
At first you may see clearly what God’s will is— the severance of a friendship, the breaking off of a business relationship, or something else you feel is distinctly God’s will for you to do. But never act on the impulse of that feeling. If you do, you will cause difficult situations to arise which will take years to untangle. Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.
Peter did not wait for God. He predicted in his own mind where the test would come, and it came where he did not expect it. “I will lay down my life for Your sake.” Peter’s statement was honest but ignorant. “Jesus answered him, ’ . . . the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times’ ” (John 13:38). This was said with a deeper knowledge of Peter than Peter had of himself. He could not follow Jesus because he did not know himself or his own capabilities well enough. Natural devotion may be enough to attract us to Jesus, to make us feel His irresistible charm, but it will never make us disciples. Natural devotion will deny Jesus, always falling short of what it means to truly follow Him.
Sometimes, in my zeal to be done with something that is not beneficial, I don't just turn around and walk away. I pour gasoline all over the bridge, strike several matches, step back, and watch it burn so to speak. Definitely not the most peaceful way to end a relationship. I am striving to be patient and wait on the Lord to show me how/when things will come to end....unless He intervenes and changes something about the relationship that would allow it to continue. At any rate, I need to stop running ahead and doing things on my own accord because it hasn't worked out very well to this point.
At first you may see clearly what God’s will is— the severance of a friendship, the breaking off of a business relationship, or something else you feel is distinctly God’s will for you to do. But never act on the impulse of that feeling. If you do, you will cause difficult situations to arise which will take years to untangle. Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.
Peter did not wait for God. He predicted in his own mind where the test would come, and it came where he did not expect it. “I will lay down my life for Your sake.” Peter’s statement was honest but ignorant. “Jesus answered him, ’ . . . the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times’ ” (John 13:38). This was said with a deeper knowledge of Peter than Peter had of himself. He could not follow Jesus because he did not know himself or his own capabilities well enough. Natural devotion may be enough to attract us to Jesus, to make us feel His irresistible charm, but it will never make us disciples. Natural devotion will deny Jesus, always falling short of what it means to truly follow Him.
Sometimes, in my zeal to be done with something that is not beneficial, I don't just turn around and walk away. I pour gasoline all over the bridge, strike several matches, step back, and watch it burn so to speak. Definitely not the most peaceful way to end a relationship. I am striving to be patient and wait on the Lord to show me how/when things will come to end....unless He intervenes and changes something about the relationship that would allow it to continue. At any rate, I need to stop running ahead and doing things on my own accord because it hasn't worked out very well to this point.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Home Work
After a lot of waiting and praying and waiting...MaddieLuke, LTD is officially open for business! It's been a project that has been rolling around in my brain for several years, but after "retiring" from the work world, I finally seem to have the time needed to focus on launching my own business. It's a consulting firm of which I am the sole consulter so probably just a fancy way of saying I'm self-employed, but I like it. A lot.
Since it's early days, I'm doing some pro bono projects to get some customer testimonials and work out any kinks in my standard operating procedures. One project is with a non-profit in town, one project is with a homeschooled freshman, and the last project is being a campaign advisor for a local resident planning to run for state senate. I think I'm the most excited about the last project because I love politics. It's fast paced, involved, requires a lot of research and memorization, and there is a plethora of problem solving which I enjoy doing the most.
But, the main purpose of the consulting firm is two-fold. First, act as an educational consultant for homeschooling families in the state by checking over their records and body of work to ensure they are meeting Oklahoma PASS objectives. If not, making suggestions and recommendations on how to bring their work into compliance while helping them build a transcript / portfolio / record of work. Second, act as an organizational consultant for projects and non-profits including suggesting ways to more efficiently conduct business, update policies and procedures, and brainstorming / problem solving through issues that are currently challenging the organization.
I am excited to see what comes of these things and I'm enjoying the way my day is running. I have the daytime with J, early evening with P, and then I spend the last two hours of the day working on one/all of the projects I currently have ongoing.
But, I'm being mindful that if I get overly involved (like I tend to do), I will have to be willing and able to lay it all aside considering how much the Lord has been helping me focus on my priorities over the past few months. I certainly don't want to do anything detrimental!
Since it's early days, I'm doing some pro bono projects to get some customer testimonials and work out any kinks in my standard operating procedures. One project is with a non-profit in town, one project is with a homeschooled freshman, and the last project is being a campaign advisor for a local resident planning to run for state senate. I think I'm the most excited about the last project because I love politics. It's fast paced, involved, requires a lot of research and memorization, and there is a plethora of problem solving which I enjoy doing the most.
But, the main purpose of the consulting firm is two-fold. First, act as an educational consultant for homeschooling families in the state by checking over their records and body of work to ensure they are meeting Oklahoma PASS objectives. If not, making suggestions and recommendations on how to bring their work into compliance while helping them build a transcript / portfolio / record of work. Second, act as an organizational consultant for projects and non-profits including suggesting ways to more efficiently conduct business, update policies and procedures, and brainstorming / problem solving through issues that are currently challenging the organization.
I am excited to see what comes of these things and I'm enjoying the way my day is running. I have the daytime with J, early evening with P, and then I spend the last two hours of the day working on one/all of the projects I currently have ongoing.
But, I'm being mindful that if I get overly involved (like I tend to do), I will have to be willing and able to lay it all aside considering how much the Lord has been helping me focus on my priorities over the past few months. I certainly don't want to do anything detrimental!
Friday, October 21, 2011
FALL
It is finally Fall in Oklahoma! It rained a few weeks ago for a couple of days and now everything is lush and green in our backyard. Mostly weeds at this point, but it looks pretty. The weather has cooled down to a lovely 70 degrees F during the day and almost down to freezing at night. I'm sure it will heat up again before fall officially settles in, but we are grateful for the reprieve.
Baby G #2 is a boy! We had our 5 month scan about two weeks ago and everything is where it is supposed to be and functioning as it should and we're very grateful for that news as well. We decided to name him Elliott Frederick. The cutest thing in my little home right now is sweet baby J trying to say "Elliott." It comes out "Ell-eee?"
I am finding myself much more settled /comfortable with the title of stay at home mom. I am no longer struggling with trying to figure out what my role is going to be. When I first realized that I was going to have to give up all of the board/charity work that I had been doing since J's arrival, it was a struggle. I felt lost for several weeks. But, it's because my perspective was so limited. I was only seeing what I was losing and I wasn't open to what could be gained by freeing up that time and energy. I have found my focus restored and the biggest conviction that I have pressing on me at the moment is to make good use of the time that J and I have left together before we add in Baby E's presence. There is so much for both of us to learn between now and then.
There are always new lessons to learn, old lessons to revisit, and the opportunity to improve things that haven't been quite rounded and softened out of us yet. I am finding this to be true in all areas of life and I'm having to reconsider my stance on certain situations and people especially. I'm such a black and white thinker about things. I like evaluating and making decisions and seeing the decisions through. But, in that process, I think I have given up on people or distanced myself from people who are being knit into my larger family and at the end of the day, it was never my place to say who was worth walking away from because that's not the purpose to which I have been called. I'm learning that patience, hope, love, and endurance are what is required to see things through to completion - in myself and in others. We can't do this kind of work or experience this kind of growth alone if we have set our eyes on the prize and are determined to see it through.
Repetition is my biggest lesson with J in this season. Constant review and interaction and encouragement and reminders which pay off in a big way because at some point in the repetition, something clicks and HE GETS IT. Repetition is something good for my life as well because it's exactly the same. When good things are being put in steadily, constantly, and consistently and my heart dwells on them, at some point in the repetition, something clicks and I GET IT. So, I am reminding myself for myself and reminding myself for J, continue in the good way. Don't grow weary in well doing. Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together. Walk in love. As HE is in this world, so are we.
Baby G #2 is a boy! We had our 5 month scan about two weeks ago and everything is where it is supposed to be and functioning as it should and we're very grateful for that news as well. We decided to name him Elliott Frederick. The cutest thing in my little home right now is sweet baby J trying to say "Elliott." It comes out "Ell-eee?"
I am finding myself much more settled /comfortable with the title of stay at home mom. I am no longer struggling with trying to figure out what my role is going to be. When I first realized that I was going to have to give up all of the board/charity work that I had been doing since J's arrival, it was a struggle. I felt lost for several weeks. But, it's because my perspective was so limited. I was only seeing what I was losing and I wasn't open to what could be gained by freeing up that time and energy. I have found my focus restored and the biggest conviction that I have pressing on me at the moment is to make good use of the time that J and I have left together before we add in Baby E's presence. There is so much for both of us to learn between now and then.
There are always new lessons to learn, old lessons to revisit, and the opportunity to improve things that haven't been quite rounded and softened out of us yet. I am finding this to be true in all areas of life and I'm having to reconsider my stance on certain situations and people especially. I'm such a black and white thinker about things. I like evaluating and making decisions and seeing the decisions through. But, in that process, I think I have given up on people or distanced myself from people who are being knit into my larger family and at the end of the day, it was never my place to say who was worth walking away from because that's not the purpose to which I have been called. I'm learning that patience, hope, love, and endurance are what is required to see things through to completion - in myself and in others. We can't do this kind of work or experience this kind of growth alone if we have set our eyes on the prize and are determined to see it through.
Repetition is my biggest lesson with J in this season. Constant review and interaction and encouragement and reminders which pay off in a big way because at some point in the repetition, something clicks and HE GETS IT. Repetition is something good for my life as well because it's exactly the same. When good things are being put in steadily, constantly, and consistently and my heart dwells on them, at some point in the repetition, something clicks and I GET IT. So, I am reminding myself for myself and reminding myself for J, continue in the good way. Don't grow weary in well doing. Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together. Walk in love. As HE is in this world, so are we.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
What a difference a year makes...
My sweet baby J turned 1 on Thursday. I spent the actual day of his birth cuddling him and talking him about how much he has changed my life for the better. I'm sure he grew weary of all the hugs and kisses, but he never let on.
Friday, I began the daunting task of completing his 1st year baby scrapbook. I have managed to keep a baby calendar for the past year which is no easy task and ended up saving all the photos to do at one time. Thankfully, I have a very patient and helpful mentor to assist me in getting my creativity going and I was able to complete 22 pages of pictures before it was time to head to Norman to celebrate my mother's birthday with the family.
Saturday, we had J's birthday party. We decided a few months ago that while we wanted the huge celebration with family and friends, baby J is in need of NOTHING (except diapers, maybe) and we didn't want anyone to feel obligated to bring him a gift. So, we decided to ask guests to bring a donation for the local Humane Society instead for us to donate on J's behalf. I wasn't sure how people would respond, but we ended up with a half a truckbed of items to donate and J got to celebrate the day with about 70 friends and family at the local park. We still managed to come home with half a sheet cake which we gave to my teenage brothers to enjoy.
After J's park party, we headed out to my parents for the family party complete with burgers, fries, baked beans, and a marble cupcake with chocolate icing for J. He loved it! Mom and Dad bought him a little green tractor to ride around on at their house and he also received some money which we're using to open his college savings account. I'm sure he'll thank us for being so frugal one day, lol.
Today, I took J to church by myself because P was called into the office around 8am. J had a few minor meltodwns but ended up falling asleep in the end which was a relief. I know he probably sounds louder to me than he sounds to everyone else, but it's nerve wracking to balance that fine line between J learning to sit still and us being a huge disruption to everyone else. Hopefully, after a few more weeks of us being consistent, he will either find ways to quietly entertain himself or fall asleep without a lot of coaxing. Patience, patience...on both of our parts!
I had to resign from all of my organizations and boards that I have been serving on. It was a really hard thing to let go of because it's been my bridge between being a professional and being a stay at home mom, but the Lord was making it really clear that in order to grow, I needed to let go. My place is home with J and my job right now is taking care of him and taking care of myself ot make sure that Baby #2 has every opportunity to grow and develop in a stress-free environment. There have been a few days here and there where I have struggled with letting go of such a big part of my identity, but thankfully, it's getting better with each passing day. I know in my heart and head that those things were temperal at best and a distraction at worst, so it's better to not have my focus being so divided. I just need to stand firm on that conviction.
Friday, I began the daunting task of completing his 1st year baby scrapbook. I have managed to keep a baby calendar for the past year which is no easy task and ended up saving all the photos to do at one time. Thankfully, I have a very patient and helpful mentor to assist me in getting my creativity going and I was able to complete 22 pages of pictures before it was time to head to Norman to celebrate my mother's birthday with the family.
Saturday, we had J's birthday party. We decided a few months ago that while we wanted the huge celebration with family and friends, baby J is in need of NOTHING (except diapers, maybe) and we didn't want anyone to feel obligated to bring him a gift. So, we decided to ask guests to bring a donation for the local Humane Society instead for us to donate on J's behalf. I wasn't sure how people would respond, but we ended up with a half a truckbed of items to donate and J got to celebrate the day with about 70 friends and family at the local park. We still managed to come home with half a sheet cake which we gave to my teenage brothers to enjoy.
After J's park party, we headed out to my parents for the family party complete with burgers, fries, baked beans, and a marble cupcake with chocolate icing for J. He loved it! Mom and Dad bought him a little green tractor to ride around on at their house and he also received some money which we're using to open his college savings account. I'm sure he'll thank us for being so frugal one day, lol.
Today, I took J to church by myself because P was called into the office around 8am. J had a few minor meltodwns but ended up falling asleep in the end which was a relief. I know he probably sounds louder to me than he sounds to everyone else, but it's nerve wracking to balance that fine line between J learning to sit still and us being a huge disruption to everyone else. Hopefully, after a few more weeks of us being consistent, he will either find ways to quietly entertain himself or fall asleep without a lot of coaxing. Patience, patience...on both of our parts!
I had to resign from all of my organizations and boards that I have been serving on. It was a really hard thing to let go of because it's been my bridge between being a professional and being a stay at home mom, but the Lord was making it really clear that in order to grow, I needed to let go. My place is home with J and my job right now is taking care of him and taking care of myself ot make sure that Baby #2 has every opportunity to grow and develop in a stress-free environment. There have been a few days here and there where I have struggled with letting go of such a big part of my identity, but thankfully, it's getting better with each passing day. I know in my heart and head that those things were temperal at best and a distraction at worst, so it's better to not have my focus being so divided. I just need to stand firm on that conviction.
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