Hissy Fit Update

Things are improving significantly since my last hissy fit / post. Mostly because I realize that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to life. I'm the perfectionist. I'm the overcommitment freak. I'm the first to volunteer for EVERYTHING. I have the hardest time telling someone no. AND, I'm the world's worst about not keeping my big mouth shut and my hand by my side whenever I see that there is something that needs to be done / it appears that there is something that needs to be done. Maybe, if I hung back more, it would give other people time to offer to take care of everything. Right?

So, here's the deal. I start my grant writing class on the 20th of this month. It's a 6 week course. I am hosting a dinner on the 15th. I'm hosting a dinner on the 21st for about 30 min and then Pete will take over so I can go to the United Way's allocations meeting - I'm a panel chair again this year. I have a Leadership Duncan meeting on the 18th where I have to help recap Social Service Day and share the results of the two surveys I analyzed on behalf of the steering committee. After that, we have sweet baby E's first birthday blow out on the 24th (celebrating a little early), a photo shoot on March 2, and a banquet on March 14.

THAT IS IT. So, I have made myself a promise to agree to NOTHING ELSE. If it's not on my calendar yet, it's just not gonna happen. I hate being so inflexible, but we are talking about my sanity here. And my ability to be nice to people.

Everyone Has That One Friend...

The one who goes the extra mile and organizes lunch plans when everyone else in the group drones on and on about how nice it would be for everyone to get together but never bothers to invite anyone.

The one who remembers to take pictures of your children for you when you forget to bring your camera to the important life events...like graduation, for example.

The one who actually remembers your birthday and patiently listens to you while you complain about all the other people who forgot your birthday even though she remembered AND bought you a gift!

The one who doesn't take it personally when you forget to say thank you, cancel plans at the last possible minute because something more fun came along, and forget to remember her birthday in return.

The one who patiently endures your false accusations, your backstabbing, your lies, and your manipulation because she knows that at one point, you were a good friend and she is desparately hoping that you can find your way back to that place again.

The one who works behind the scenes planning a fun filled, 15 year high school reunion complete with kid friendly options, easy on the budget, and appealing to a wide range of people only to be told that committing to group rate tickets (that sell out quickly) is just too long term in the planning department right now and you haven't even seriously discussed it with your spouse as something you might want to do.

The one who never takes her sick children to ANYTHING because she doesn't want to expose anyone else's children while you insist on dragging your coughing, sneezing, fever running, vomiting children to everything.

The one who never talks about your parenting choices even if she thinks you are borderlining on crazy with all the conspiracy theories about how Merck admitted to putting cancer in vaccinations, how there is rat poison in your children's toothpaste, and how making your children get flu shots actually makes them get the flu while you take every opportunity possible to suggest changes she could make in her parenting techniques because they don't line up with yours.

The one who calls to check up on you when you have been MIA for a couple of days or a week because she wants you to stay encouraged and plugged in even though you have never bothered to check up on her.

Sometimes, it's exhausting being the one.

2013

Things have been off to a wild beginning this year. Wild as in lots of things to do and lots of sick babies and lots of figuring things out.

Things are back on track relationshipwise which is good news. From what I can gather, my husband has been overwhelmed with all of the work stressors and was bringing it home unintentionally. He was promoted and transferred to another office right after the new year and since then, things are much better for him which means things are much better for us. I have also been helping him figure out how to finish up his bachelor's degree in the UK because he's just one class short of graduating. I think we will both feel better when that has been finished. We have come up with a solution on the work front that will still give me the flexibility to stay home with the babies, but I can bring in a second income on the side which will help relieve some of the stress / pressure he has been carrying for the past several months.

I have been busy with my new consulting projects and the babies and working hard to get our newly started alma mater local chapter off the ground. I have two amazing people helping me and that is going to make the process a lot smoother. I had to laugh today though because I realized that in my enthusiasm at finding new friends who share my love of something, I am probably coming on a little strong and need to tone it down before I scare them away.

The one thing that keeps coming back to mind can best be said like...

"I'm only human, I'm just a woman.
Help me believe in what I could be
And all that I am.
Show me the stairway, I have to climb.
Lord for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.

Chorus:
One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time."

Let's Get To The Bottom of The Issue

Things are going well on many fronts in my life at the moment. The babies are good. I've settled down into my stay at home mom routine. Finances are ticking along. Pretty much everything is as it should be with one glaring exception.

My relationship with my husband is completely falling apart. And I don't know how to stop the bleeding at this point. I can't tell you what is wrong. Neither of us can put our finger on one event or one moment or one conversation that is the root of the issue. It's just very frustrating. I would go into more details, but it would only be from my perspective which obviously one sided. But, if we happen to cross your mind, please say a prayer for us. I am not going anywhere. This is where I belong. I'm supposed to be married to this man and I'm supposed to be mother to these two boys and this is my life and I love it. I'm in the long run on this and I'm sure we will get something figured out.

In the meantime, I'm doing what I can to make things right again. The third baby issue was settled months ago from my perspective, but it keeps upsetting my husband. So, I spent all day yesterday cleaning out the storage room under the stairs and made a heap of baby furniture, Boppys, Bumbos, baby swings, changing tables, and the baby girl decor we had been given before we knew Elliott was a boy. I asked him to put everything on Craigslist for me. The only thing I haven't been able to part with yet is a fleece sleepbag covered in pink elephants. I'm sure I'll be able to let that go too before too long. And I only teared up for a few seconds. If this is what it will take to show him that the baby issue is settled, I'm okay with letting go of these material things.

We'll see what happens from here.

Birthday Reminder

I celebrated my birthday a few weeks, but due to being sick, we have been holed up in our little yellow house riding out a very persistent round of roseola. As a result, birthday gifts and cards have been trickling in from friends and church family Sunday by Sunday.

It always means so much when someone goes out of the way to encourage you or let you know you're appreciated. I received a card this birthday that has ended up being an encouraging, but also very sobering reminder that someone is always watching and observing the decisions I make and the actions I take.

This is what the card said:
"Dear Laura - Happy birthday! I am so very thankful for you. As a mother of daughters, your example of how to be a Godly wife and mother, is such, that I encourage them to learn from you. May you continue to increase in love for the brethren. Blessings! Love - KR."

Needless to say, that was a total "Wow..." moment in my life. I needed that encouragement and reminder because not only do I have two beautiful sons who are with me every day, watching how I treat them and how I interact with their dad and developing their own definition of how marriage and parenthood and relationships are supposed to work...but I also have other people's children watching me to see how things are supposed to work in marriage, parenthood, and relationships.

I have the note displayed on my bulletin board in the kitchen where I can see it and read it every single day and be reminded to watch my actions, watch my words, and be mindful of how many people are watching. And not watching for the purpose of being able to say "HA! We KNEW you were a bad parent!" or waiting for me to make a mistake. Not at all. They are watching me because I have done things or said things in the past that were encouraging to them.

And, boy, I am THANKFUL for that! That is a HUGE encouragement to ME. Good incentive to keep enduring.

Something Needs To Change...

Please Sign and Share

The Tears Are Coming So Easy These Days...

Dear Coldplay,

You're making me cry today.

Just thought you should know.

Love,

L xx

Acknowledgement

The holidays always bring me out of my day to day routine and thrust me into happenings in the community. I love it for the most part because I get to catch up with people I haven't seen in awhile.

Tonight was a good example. I haven't officially worked since Sept 2010, but my former employer still treats me like family and I got a special invitation to the women's Christmas gift exchange. I loved being able to see everyone and visit without having to disrupt their workday like I usually do whenever I want to see them. Some things have changed a lot. And some things never change. I found myself able to just thoroughly enjoy the evening. It's something that has changed for me since I had time to step away from the career side of myself and embrace the domestic / mom / wife side of myself.

I think being a mother has made me a nicer person in short.

And, in thinking about what has changed so much for me it boils down to this simple thing...I find myself wanting to acknowledge others. Wanting to make the effort to say hello and invest a few minutes in conversation. And, sometimes, realizing that there is opportunity to encourage by going a step further than a hello. It's very enjoyable to find these moments.

I also realized that sometimes, the most hurtful thing I can do someone else is to simply not acknowledge them or their presence. Examples would be glancing over during my grocery shopping and then pretending like I didn't see someone so I don't have to stop what I'm doing and say hi. Or, not stopping my conversation to say hello to someone when they walk up to me. Not smiling when I make eye contact with someone. It's almost worse than being snappy or pointed in some ways because at least the other person exists when they do enough to get under your skin. Being able to completely block someone out can be the most hurtful thing ever.

So, I'm working on it. Going beyond polite or having to do something into really wanting to do something that says "HEY! I'm glad to see you. I hope you're having a great day. Maybe there's something I can do to help if you're not having a great day."

Isn't It Ironic...

I have been scanning HUNDREDS of negatives this week and stumbled upon an envelope of camp pictures circa 1999. So many memories and so many people I never see at this stage of life.

I had my heart set on one person in particular so he makes many appearances on my computer screen these days. Normally, I just keep skipping along, but today, at the same time the pictures were popping up on my screen, Pandora threw this song into the mix and when I closed my eyes, I was back at camp laying on my back on the basketball court watching the stars. And that person was laying next to me singing this song to me.

I now know that this particular relationship meant the world to me at the time...and it was just one giant ego boost to that particular person and that I never meant anything special to him at all.

But dang it, that song has a way of taking me back even if it's just for a few minutes.

Back to the negatives! And a new station on Pandora, me thinks.

Towing The Line

Sweet Baby Elliott is fast approaching his 9 month birthday and what a crazy week it has been for him! The side roll / side plank combo has evolved into being able to sit up by himself and his snail pace scooting across the floor has turned into a speedy army crawl. He disappears from view in a matter of seconds and his most favorite place to go in the entire house is Jackson's room. I have found him several times happily sitting in the middle of Jack's floor surrounded by toys. And today, I peeked into his room at naptime and found him STANDING UP in his crib looking very pleased with himself. I think naptimes will prove a little difficult until the novelty of standing up has worn off.

In light of how big the boys are getting and taking my health and age into consideration, we need to make a decision about the possibility of Baby #3. Not in the sense of trying right away, but more along the lines of getting it on the schedule. It's something I have been thinking about and praying about for several months. I just feel like we are supposed to have one more baby and after being lost in my own thoughts about it, I finally reached out to Pete last week to check in and see where he is on the subject.

He was pretty supportive of the idea on a verbal front, but after watching him for the past week, something hasn't been right in his countenance or attitude. Lots of frustration, anger, bad language, easily provoked, etc... and last night, he got upset with me for stepping in when he and Jackson were doing their oil and water Custer's Last Stand. I probably should have stayed out of it and let them work it out, but I had a migraine, I had just gotten Elliott to sleep, and the yelling was getting really LOUD.

After I got Jack into bed, Pete said a few things that caused me to stop talking (which is a feat in and of itself) and this morning, I felt a stirring to just reach out again. I decided to send the following text: "Hey Babe. It's pretty obvious that you do not want anymore children. Rather than have it continue to be a point of contention or leverage during arguments, I just wanted to say that I am thankful for the two boys we do have and that I won't bring the subject up again." His two word response was "Thank you."

And now, I am sad. I know it was the right thing to do, but it still makes my eyes tear up when I think about how I won't ever feel our sweet little baby moving around inside of me or what it feels like to see my baby's sweet face for the first time. So many amazing experiences that I thought I would get to enjoy and relish one more time. And now, it looks like that isn't going to be the case.

 I am just asking the Lord to help me get over this and not be upset or resentful about this as the years go by.

Making Progress

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 2003. I had been tested for hypothyroidism a handful of times prior to being diagnosed beginning around sixteen years of age. My TSH levels have NEVER been outside of the "normal" range so it was certainly the Lord intervening on my behalf that led to that diagnosis because the doctor based it on my symptoms as opposed to my test results.

I started taking Synthroid shortly after diagnosis and my dosage has been adjusted 3 or 4 times over the past 9 years. I was off the medication for about 4 months when I lived in the UK because my GP / doctor wasn't comfortable refilling my prescription since he didn't diagnose me. He gave me a bottle of anti-depressants instead and told me to come back in six months to see if my numbers reflected my diagnosis. I knew the numbers wouldn't show anything so on my first visit home, I got my meds refilled in the states and never went back to the GP again. In that 4 month time period, my symptoms came flooding back and the worst day that I can remember involved having huge waves of nausea hitting me, heat flashes rolling up my body from my toes through the top of my head, being so dizzy I could barely stand up, followed by being completely disoriented while riding on the bus to get to work. I managed to stagger to the front of the bus but I couldn't stay upright and ended up slamming my cheekbone into one of the poles on the bus. The driver finally stopped and let me out and as soon as the cold air hit my face, I dropped to the sidewalk and stayed in a kneeling position while everyone got off the bus. I'm sure I looked like I had just had too much to drink the night before, but one woman stayed with me until the color came back into my cheeks. The bus stop was about 1/2 mile from my office so I still had to walk to work and ended up being about 20 minutes late which was VERY frowned upon. Thankfully, my manager could see it in my face that things were just not right.

Hypothyroidism for me has been a journey of ups and downs. The medication would work pretty well for a few years and then we would need to adjust. I have been on 150 mcg of Synthroid and I was VERY hesitant to go any higher in dosage because Synthroid (among other side effects) can cause bone density loss. I had begun to experience a lot of joint pain in my hands and feet...to the point that I couldn't hold a pen or use my sewing scissors or type on the computer without having to wear a brace. My feet were hurting to the point that they would ache at night when I was trying to sleep and sometimes, the pain would cause me to wake up in the middle of the night. I was taking 800 mcg of Ibuprofen each night to help me sleep. And, after diligently following Weight Watchers online for 8 weeks, I had actually gained a pound. I had swelling in my face, hands, feet, legs, and stomach to the point that I couldn't wear my wedding ring any longer. I was also experiencing migraine headaches several times a week.

I finally realized that all of these things were hypothyroidism symptoms! I shouldn't be experiencing ANY of these things, in my opinion, because I've been on my medication and have been diligent in watching what I eat and drink. I decided to do some research and after reading some great books and researching my medication options, I switched from Synthroid to Armour about 3 weeks ago.

In that three weeks, I have lost 7lbs. My face, hands, feet, legs, and stomach are no longer swollen. My joints have stopped hurting COMPLETELY. I haven't had a migraine in almost a week. I am sleeping at night. I don't have any fuzziness in my thinking. I am able to concentrate on what I'm doing. I just feel GOOD.

I'm excited about these changes, but I'm even more excited to see where I am 6 months down the road. Do I think Armour is a cure-all? No. But, for me, it is the missing piece needed to round out the good habits I have developed and the things I was already doing to make sure I had things under control healthwise. So, if I can keep up my end of the bargain, hopefully, my broken thyroid can meet me halfway and I can finally fit into my GAP jeans from my freshman year of college (which was the smallest I have ever been since going through puberty at age 11)...140 lbs is the smallest I have been since I was 11. Wow.

Smack In The Face

I hope that if you were to look at my life now, you would never guess that I kind of went off the rails during my college days. It's easy to gloss over that time in my life now because it's been a decade and so much has changed....but I'm watching someone I love with all my heart going through a similar derailment and last night, I laid it all on the table and shared everything that I believe the Lord has given me to share in terms of cautions, encouragement, and correction.

And now, we wait. And hope in the Lord because He is the ONLY one who can stop that train at this point. I certainly do not have a lot of hope in the person because the flesh is so weak in these times of temptation.

I love you, J. I hope you make the right decisions and don't allow your life to become swept away. You have too much to lose at this point.

Soccer Widow

Soccer Widow

I am working through something that is so trivial when I actually put it into words, but it is still making me annoyed / disappointed.

Pete played soccer during the spring season with a bunch of guys we know (mostly through church.) Sounds like fun on the surface, right? Well, it wasn't. Not for him and certainly not for me. I was in my last month of pregnancy when the season officially kicked off and Elliott was born at the very end of February. Newborn babies, a 1.5 year old, and soccer practice / soccer games just do not mix. I found myself completely alone in the house every Saturday (pretty much all day), every practice night (two - three per week), whenever the guys wanted to review the games on video, and/or whenever the guys wanted to go to dinner after the game. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if it had been limited to these (too many) activities, but then there was the soccer spillover, as I like to call it.

Saturdays just wore Pete out. He's in his thirties, not used to playing that intensely, and every little thing would provoke him so by the time he arrived home from the game, he would have to spend a few hours decompressing and ragging on the other players, the other team, the ref, the crowd, WHOMEVER got on his nerves that day. I am sure it annoyed me more than it should have due to the sleep deprivation, raging hormones, mastitis, and other baby related stuff, but let me just tell you that it was one of the most discouraging seasons of my married life.

On top of that, Pete started missing church on Sundays because he needed to sleep in to recover from Saturday. On the rare occasions that we made it out to my parents house for sunday dinner, he would either fall asleep in the recliner or go shut himself up in the music room. IF he talked to anyone for any length of time, it was to my two brothers who also played on the team which was like the saturday ragging session intensified. Again, DISCOURAGING.

So, by the end of the season, Pete was beginning to see that he left that soccer field angry and upset with people over the STUPIDEST things. He came home after the last game, sat down with me, and stated that he didn't think it was good for him to play and that he was not going to play in the fall season. I wholeheartedly approved and thanked him profusely and have reminded him of this position from time to time over the summer. Each time it came up, he was adament that he was NOT going to play.

And then, he committed to the team again. And THEN came home to tell me that he had committed. No discussion. No asking my opinion. Just "Yeah, sure guys! Sounds great!" I was not very happy about this...so, another discussion ensued. I shared everything I have shared here to which he said that he wanted to pray about it and he would let me know what he came up with at the end. So, he then told the team captain that it wasn't peaceable for him to play this season and THEN came home to tell me what had happened. I was so estatic that he had decided not to play.

But, then, he started talking about how much he was going to resent me if he didn't play. And he started talking about how it was his decision to make. And about how he just needed some time to himself every week. I have seriously had to fight back some major annoyance / wanting to choke someone during these conversations.

I pleaded with him to please not sign up again. I talked about my concerns. About the time it takes away from our family and our extended family. About how much it disrupts our ability to have people over to visit and to eat dinner on Fridays. About how much it influenced him not attending church each week.

And yet, he decided to do it. And every single time something comes up and I realize that I am either not going to be able to commit to doing it / helping with it / going to it / etc... OR I realize that I'm going to have to reach out to my family and beg for someone to help me keep up with the boys (when I feel like it's Pete's job to do), I get ANNOYED. Majorly annoyed.

So, you all pray for me, please. Otherwise, it's going to be a VERY long soccer season.

Clarity

....is that moment when you realize that you are going to HAVE to let go of something you have been holding onto in order to move forward with the things God is wanting to do for you, through you, and in you.

It's The Little Things

I just introduced Jackson to the joy that is a Peanut Butter and Marshmallow Creme sandwich (aka The Fluffernut) and he is DEVOURING it. Not just picking at it like he usually does with sandwiches, but decimating each morsel of bread, spread, and creme. In between bites, he runs over and says, "Mmmmm. Like this, Mommy. Goooooood."

My work here is done.

Wowza

After being a saleswoman for an entire week now, how in the world to people who do this for a living handle REJECTION so well?

Pete is the project manager for our local Chamber of Commerce Member Directory which goes to print in December. In the meantime, he / we need to reach out to 450+ members and see if they wish to purchase any ad space in the print directory and/or online. We have reached out to approximately 1/3 of the list in the past week which is good and we have made sales which is good. But, neither of us like "selling" things (fundraisers, sales, etc...) and we both have a hard time bouncing back from a "no" (especially the ugly no as opposed a nice, but firm no thank you)

I have had to go with Pete on most of the sales visits this week which means our babies have either been with my family or with their Auntie Janice. They are doing okay, but we are starting to see some stress / anxiety from Jackson - worrying about when we will be back and wanting to go with us. When we arrived home today, he was standing on his window seat, looking out the window for us. He has just wanted to be held and carried around and tonight he asked if I could sleep in his baby bed with him. So, tomorrow, we are not doing ANYTHING unless it involves the babies.

Elliott's first tooth has FINALLY broke through after two solid months of low grade temps and excessive drooling. It's the cutest little thing I have ever seen because he breaks into his huge gummy smile and now there is a teeny white bump poking up along the bottom gum. He seems to be pretty happy about the whole outcome. Hopefully, several more will follow in quick succession.

I went in for bloodwork today. I am feeling like I do when my thyroid is not cooperating. My face and hands have been swollen for the past week and I've gained about 6 lbs this week. Running a low grade temp, feeling extremely tired, and sick to my stomach most of the time. My lab results show a little dehydration, but my TSH and Free 4 levels were in the normal range and haven't moved too much from my last test in April so I will just stick with my current dosage and try to clean up my eating to counteract the unexplained weight gain. My nutritionist advised me to only eat fruit, veggies, and fish when things get out of whack, so I will have to make myself to do that over the next few weeks.

Sometimes, it seems that if it's not one thing...it's another. ;)

Patience, Patience!

Yesterday was a long day. I spent about 7 hours in the car by the time everything was said and done and we started the day around 5:30am. I have never been more excited for bedtime in recent memory than I was last night!

Elliott had other plans for the evening, however, and managed to wake himself up 3 times between 12am and 6am. I realized around 3:30am that my eyes were/are  hurting, my head was/is throbbing, my throat was/is aching, and my stomach was hurting from all the drainage that was/is pouring down my throat. Guess who is the latest succumber to this never ending virus that continues to make the rounds of our family and friends? This gal.

So, we stayed home from church this morning. In addition to me not feeling well, both boys have streaming noses and a low grade temp. And Pete is just worn out from watching the boys yesterday...writing that sentence made me giggle on the inside so I feel slightly more upbeat now. I'm going to finish cleaning the kitchen before the upswing goes away.

Wallyball

My body is trying to send me a message. I am too old and out of shape to be out on a wallyball court with a bunch of high school and college aged children. But, my brain tells me that if I will just push through another few weeks, I will be able to hold my own. What I mean by hold my own is hit the ball at least 75% of the time and not close my eyes while doing so. (Aim high, right?)

So, why is a thirty something year old out playing sports with people a decade younger you might be asking...interesting story. I will let you know the outcome in a few weeks.

In other news, Elliott and Jackson are both still under the weather and I am beginning to feel a little scratchiness in my throat as well, but Mom doesn't have time to be sick so we're just going to push through. I am scanning pictures of my baby brother while the boys nap. After they wake, we'll head out to my mom's house for a few hours. Then, back into town so I can meet up with one of my friends for dinner - she also happens to be my OB so it is going to be very nice to see her outside of me having a baby. Tomorrow, I am headed to Elk City for a funeral. One of my sweet friends lost her mother to lymphoma on Wednesday morning after a year long battle. Praying for their family and asking for the Lord to bring peace to their hearts.

Husband

Pete and I have been together for nine years now. He still manages to find ways to let me know how much he loves me. The latest gesture happened last night. He came home from church, took one look at my exhausted face, and informed me that he was going to take care of Elliott during the night so I could have one decent night of rest. Needless to say, I went to sleep as fast as I could and when I woke up at 8:15am, I felt like an almost new person.

I don't know very many men who are so willing to pitch in with all of the little day to day details that go into raising babies. I'm just very thankful to have a partner in this crazy journey who loves to cook, knows which laundry is okay for him to wash and which articles of clothing are best left for me to handle, doesn't mind changing diapers, and never complains about how many times I send him to the store because I forgot to get something on my list.

We don't have as much time for the two of us as we are accustomed to having which is requiring a conscious effort on both parts to make better use of the limited time we do have, but I think as long as we are remembering to make and look for the little gestures of love, we are going to be just fine.

Rounding the corner!

So pleased to report that Jack slept through from 7:30pm to 8am! He is much better this morning...as evidenced by the entire bottle of Comet he sprinkled all over the bathroom while I was in the shower! Oh well. I would rather have him feeling well and getting into little boy mischief as opposed to him not feeling well. He is sitting on his blanket at my feet playing with his meercat. We are watching the cycling at the Olympics at the moment and he turned around and said, "Guy. Bicycle. Going to May May's house." I do love how his mind processes things.

Elliott was only pretending to sleep through the night...well played, son. Well played. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker! Last night, he was back to his usual 1:45am, 4:30am, 6:30am. I am going to try a double feeding tonight before bed to see if I can get him full enough to skip the 1:45am. He will not eat cereal. We have tried and tried. He seems to dislike the texture.

My brother and his special friend are coming over for lunch today. I am excited, but I also want to be very mindful for what I say and do. Wanting to be an encouragement! Speaking of which, I had better get this laundry folded and put away. And I still need to go vacuum up the stray flecks of Comet.